FRANK N. STEIN'S DETECTIVE SONG INTROS TEXT

File Number 1. Frank N. Stein's Office  Windows Media clip | RealAudio clip | Full MP3  
October 31st, Halloween round midnight. 
This is Frank N. Stein, private detective.
Haven't had a client since I wrapped up the Mummy case. That was almost a year ago. Let's just say, business has been pretty dead. 
I'm waiting for a call, any call.
Hello. Frank N. Stein's Detective Agency, Transylvania Branch. 
May I help you?
The Frankenstein Files must never be released.
Huh? Who is this?
How do they know about my files? The Frankenstein Files--all my best cases. 
My filing cabinet! It just closed by itself. Who? What? 
The Frankenstein Files must never be released.
Well, too bad. Here they come!
Give my regards to Dracula, buddy!

File Number 2. Transylvania Swing 
It was close to midnight, an unnamed client hired me to tail the beautiful and melancholic, Mina Harker (aka Drac's girl) back to a mysterious castle in Transylvania. She was looking pale and alluring. As the clock struck midnight, she exited from her cold and luxurious room, and went down into the Great Hall where she was greeted by Count Dracula on his harpsichord.

File Number 3: The 13 Frights of Halloween 
On a stakeout in Halloweenville, I spent thirteen days watching a haunted house, while eerie suspects came by dropping off mysterious deliveries. I checked it out, they're all legit goods. Reminded me of Christmas.

File Number 4: Vampire Bat
A boy from Pennsylvania showed up at my door, insisting he had bit bitten by a vampire bat. He had followed her back to Dracula's lair in Transylvania. It sounded like a crazy story, so I had to check it out. Just in case of danger, I called in for extra backup, my old pal, Wolfie... Mozart... would never let us down.

File Number 5: Some Words With A Mummy
The Sphinx, King Tut, Cleopatra, Edgar Allan Poe... They were all suspects in my investigation of the Pharaoh's missing sarcophagus. Who was the culprit? No one was talking... except the Mummy.

File Number 6: Creature from the Catfish Lagoon
During a hurricane, I received a call, from Police Chief Pierre Levasseur from New Orleans. He asked me to help solve a heartbreaking case? Heartbreaking case I asked? He told me that his fiancée Louise disappeared thirteen years ago and she was kidnapped by the local legend, The Creature from the Catfish Lagoon in the Bayou. Listen to his story and what I found out from the old-timer, Gros Jean down in a tavern in New Orleans. Case closed. C'est la vie, Pierre.

File Number 7: Spider Cave 
On a stakeout outside a famous Wax Museum, I noticed that the girl working in the ticket both was extremely nervous. What was she hiding? What was the great mystery? I then overheard her say to a customer that she was not afraid of the place's Chamber of Horrors, but the exhibit called Spider Cave.

File Number 8: Bats in the Belfry
While undercover in a spooky monastery in the old country, the head monk hired me to investigate the mysterious ringing of the bells while the monks were chanting. I soon realized that Quasimodo was not our man. 

File Number 9: The Bride of Frankenstein '59
A love story for my files. After searching for centuries, my great uncle Frankenstein met the love of his life. He was driving by the cemetery in his 1959 Chevy as she was picking flowers. Sparks flew instantly. Love at first sight.

File Number 10: The Headless Horseman 
The Romantic composer, Robert Schumann went mad, claiming to have had visions of a headless, wild horseman, chasing him. I finally tracked down the culprit, solving the centuries old case, and I didn't lose my head doing it.

File Number 11: Skeleton Crew
While walking upon the beach of an uncharted island, I picked up a corked bottle, containing a message. "Save us! We're a skeleton crew that has been lost at sea for over 300 years. The obsessed Captain keeps us aboard by playing his hypnotic violin. I got out the Frank N. Stein special ghost ship tracking radar, but alas, no luck on finding the ship. Well, at least it was a Stradivarius!

File Number 12: Ghost Train
In the boot of a forgotten cowboy, beside the rattlesnake bones along the dusty tracks, I found a parchment about an old cowboy legend. It told of a ghost train that takes away lonesome drifters steered by the phantom conductor Santiago. 

File Number 13: The Black Cat
After midnight, I heard a thud, opened the door, and a black cat was outside my office. The name Pluto was on the tag around his neck. Who did this cat belong to? I put up signs on telephone poles and tombstones in the neighbourhood but no one ever claimed him. He's an OK pet. I just can't keep him out of the basement. Hopefully, my favourite owl won't mind.

File Number 14: Bigfoot Blues
While camping in the backwoods to escape the big city, I was suddenly faced with a very hairy situation. I had just pitched my tent near the waterfall, when Bigfoot (aka the Sasquatch) appeared and started to take a shower. Not only that, he began to sing the blues, because no one thinks he exists. Too bad I didn't have my camera with me, but believe you me, he exists!

File Number 15: Reggae Mortis
While following a lead in Jamaica, I found myself, shovel in hand, digging in a creepy cemetery during a thunderstorm. OK, I will admit it. Rumour has that there was buried treasure six feet under. I needed the cash. The booming thunder made me jump, and my shovel accidentally hit the back of a monolithic tombstone. Without warning, a monstrous zombie came out of the ground and returned to haunt the late night streets of Kingston Town. I had dug up the world's first Reggae Frankenstein!

File Number 16: She Haunts Me
A melancholic black-haired man, almost anemic, dreary-eyed, came to see me one evening about his reoccurring dreams of a lost love. He wanted me to locate her whereabouts. I agreed to take on the case. He could not tell me much about her, only that she was from the 80s.

Last File, Number 17: SKAunted House 
In an old abandoned section of the city, the local kids showed me a strange old house. I immediately became interested in this case when they told me they had heard "ska" music coming from its rattling windows. I took out my skeleton key to unlock this mystery.